Everything’s not your fault
by BeckaBoo1735
Summary: tag to 4.19 jump the shark...missing scene when Dean gets Sam off the table...for Jay!


**This is a missing scene from Jump the Shark. Jay asked me so of course I said yes!!! :D**

**Nothing to do with my universe. **

**Enjoy!!!**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Okay come on," I said practically carrying Sam off the table.

He was still grunting in great pain and when his feet hit the floor his knees buckled.

"Whoa whoa, I gotcha," I hushed holding him up.

I tried putting Sam's arm over my shoulders but he was cradling his whist to his chest for dear life.

"Come on Sam I can't get you out of here if you don't follow my lead," I said trying again.

"No," Sam whimpered, "can't, I can't Dean," he said through tightly shut teeth.

"Yes you can, the car's not that far, it's right outside, just hold on till then," I promised willing my strength to my bleeding baby brother.

Sam nodded growing drowsy from the blood loss. He let me carefully put one of his shredded arms over my shoulders and he guided him holding all his weight back to the car.

"Not far now Sammy, not far," I cooed, the arms I wrapped round him tightening as I felt his body weaken under mine.

"D-n," he groaned, his head lolling on my shoulder.

"I'm right here, you'll be fine Sammy," I said putting him in the passenger seat.

It was a pickle keeping him up right and opening the door at the same time but somehow I managed it.

"Keep the pressure on," I said before closing the passenger door running round to his side behind the wheel.

The whole ride back to the motel Sam was trying to stay awake, mostly because I told him to but he was doing as I said so I suppose it was okay.

"He was...our real bro-ther," he whispered out of the blue 5 minutes into the ride.

"Yeah I know," Dean said avoiding eye contact, concentrating on the road.

Sam nodded painfully for both his outside wounds, and the inside ones.

"You doing okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," he grunted earning him an eye role from me.

We pulled up and Sam opened his door almost falling out if onto his knees, he would have took a full on nose dive if I hadn't ran from my side to catch him.

"Damn it Sam," I said picking him up with care and closing the door behind him once Sam was out of its way and leaning on the car with me holding onto him with both hands as I kicked the door shut...sorry baby, I'll make it up to you, clean you up real nice once Sammy's better.

On the small walk to Sam's bed his whimpers and grunts where all that could be heard.

"Wait there, I'll be right back."

I ran back to the car getting all the stuff from the truck that I thought would be needed closing the doors with my hands this time.

When he got back Sam was laid on the end of the bed with his legs dangling weakly over it.

"Sam?" I called worried when he wasn't moving much.

My still bleeding brother groaned rolling his head to the side to show he had heard, as weird as it was, and as horrible as it sounded, I missed this side of Sam, the Sammy side of him, somewhere between me going to hell and coming back it seemed he had lost his way, but I hoped to someday, after the angel business and all the apocalypse stuff he would find his way back, but for now I would settle for patching him up and being the big brother again.

"Okay, let's take a look," I said pealing the makeshift bandage off his right wrist.

I couldn't see anything because of all the blood, Sam's blood, my Sammy's blood.

I huffed and wiped a hand down my face then pressing the dinner towel back over his slits.

"Be right back," I said going to get a wash cloth and a load of towels from the bathroom, how the hell are they going to explain this to the motel staff? Oh well, we would be out of town before anyone notices.

I wet the cloth with warm water ringing it out grabbing 3 towels keeping them dry then going back to patch my little brother up.

The second time I took the yellow/red now with blood cloth off his wrist I noticed something, crap!

"Sammy, I need to take your watch off...and the ropes...its gunna hurt, sorry kiddo," I said wincing looking down at him, but he was too busy with drifting off into unconsciousness to care, I should probably keep him awake but with how much this was going to hurt, I didn't have the heart...he looked so young again...he had his hurt puppy eyes back, I hadn't seen them since I was a hell hounds chew toy, when he was screaming 'STOP IT!' I was dead but I could hear his pain. God why couldn't he just go back to this, being Sammy, why the hell did all this have to happen to him? Why did Ruby have to attach herself to my little brother? Why the hell did yellow eyes go after Sammy? He was just a baby! What the hell had our family done to deserve this huh? If you're up there god, why us? What the hell is wrong with you? Why weren't you looking out for the good guys?

Why!

"D-n," I heard, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"I'm right here Sammy," I said placing a hand on his shoulder.

"H-urts," he wheezed blinking fast.

"I know, god Sammy I know," I bit my lip holding it together for him.

"You –kay?" he asked opening his eyes frowning at me.

"Yeah Sammy, I'm okay, now, you ready?" I said holding his arm gently ready to take the extra materials from round his wrist.

"For wh-at?" he asked coming to a lot more.

"Need to take the ropes and your watch off, remember?" I asked not expecting him to.

"Gunna hurt," he said understanding.

"Yeah, sorry Sammy, wish you were passed out for this, you always did have terrible timing," I joked and he smiled then winced twisting his side.

I frowned, did he have a cramp in his side from laying on that table all that time?

"What?" I asked worried looking over checking for more injuries.

"The hole...in my side...hurts," he whimpered screwing his face up in pain...hole in his side?

"What?" I said putting his arm down looking for a 'hole' in his side.

And there it was, a hole, a knotted twisted fleshy hole, damn I wish those basterd's were still alive just so I could kill them again.

"Damn it Sammy," I cursed pulling the hole in his t-shirt ripping the fabric so I could get a better look, the clothing was ruined already so there was no point in trying to get it off him the regular way, that _would _hurt.

Which do I stitch up first? Crap!

I pressed a gauze pad over the hole getting a moan from Sam.

"Sam?" I asked.

He rolled his head but nothing much else.

"Okay, boy you better not wake up for this," I said to mostly myself.

I winced as I unclipped his watch, it clicked open and slid it off his hand with ease. Next up, ropes, I slackened it getting a scratch moan from the back of Sam's throat. I waited till he settled again to pull it all the way off then did the same with the other.

Okay, step one, done, now...peroxide, great...what the hell was I going on about when I said I missed this, I would never miss this, I missed Sammy sure, but I would never miss patching him up, causing him more pain for his own benefit.

I wiped his raw wounds with peroxide before getting the needle and thread.

Sam's eyes where open again so I gave him the 'are you okay?' look.

"I can do that," he said making a grab for the needle.

"What?" I asked, was he insane? What!

"I can...do that, you don't have to."

"Sam are you insane or just mind numbingly stupid?" I asked sarcastically.

He looked at me with his puppy eyes looking like he was a little boy again that needed his knee kissing better.

"Sam...Sammy, no, you can't stitch yourself up again like before, I'm here now and my shoulders are in place and fine, and I'm here, I need to do this, just relax let me do this," I said holding his hand gently.

"Okay," I said letting his hand go limp but keeping his eyes open determining to stay awake.

"So uuhhh...you stitch up your own wounds when I was uhhh...you know...down there?" I asked trying to make conversation keeping his mind off the pain as I pushed the two sides of one of the long cuts together, ready for stitching.

"Sometimes," he mumbled biting his lip when I pushed the needle through his tender skin.

"Sometimes?"

"Ruby helped me out once," he said low and ashamed.

"Oh uhh, guess I should I should thank her or something," I mumbled avoiding eye contact.

"She sucks at stitches, hurt like a bitch," he groaned.

"Worse than this?" I asked pushing and tying the stitches.

"Yeah," he nodded before wincing.

"Well then remind me to kick her ass, where the hell did you get stitched?" I demanded.

"Bottom of my back, landed wrong on a window," he grimaced comically.

"Good thing I'm back to keep an eye on you and the windows you're near," I joked but being serious.

"Yeah...," he said, then winced painfully, tears stinging his eyes.

"Sorry Sammy," I said waiting for his breathing to return to normal, then carried on.

I closed the hole in his side after wrapping the cuts on his arms...

"S..orry," I heard Sam whimper looking me in the eye, I thought he had dropped off but obviously not.

"For what?" I frowned.

"Everything," he said before closing his eyes for the night.

"Everything's not your fault Sammy," I said to no one...

Its mine!

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**So? X x **


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